Stink

Tonight I have to be in class INSTEAD of going to Young Life. The truely unfortunate part is that for the next 45ish minutes we are going to go over a quiz that I got a 106% on. After that we may or may not go over some material that I need to be here to learn, I don't know which yet. Which brings me to my point, STINK! I would much rather be listening to Alli (spelling?) talking about Jesus than Steve talking about analyzing series parallel circuits. I guess for now faithfulness means doing the thing you don't want to do in the short term so that you can get the things you want in the long term. I thought in the meantime it might be good to update my blog that I so rarely find time to post on.

I have been stuck in Philippians lately. I think it might be my favorite epistle. There are so many things that come out to me in this letter. When I read it I tend to think of Paul as this legendary guy who I could never live up to or be like, and yet somehow the call to Paul is the same call on me; "Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ" (I love how he starts with only). The big challenge in this for me right now is to be encouraging to the people around me. I don't say challenge in the difficult sense, though sometimes it is, but in the this is the field this calling gets played out for me on sense. Paul starts his letter as with many others by saying "Grace and Peace to you" which I think can often times come in the form of encouragement. After all Paul is constantly encouraging people on to faith. So that's what's rolling around in my head.

And now I need to pay attention for a little bit. And possibly leave...

Dulce Venganza

This year I have been watching Hard Knocks and it's made me exceptionally excited about the Bengals this season. Do I think they can make the playoffs? It's possible. I can deffinately see them winning 9 or 10 games. If that's enough for the wild card they'll get in. The division is a wrap for the Steelers already. Their D looked way tough last night. Unexpectedly I am becoming a huge Ocho Cinco fan again. I used to love him, then I didn't like him and thought he might go, and now I'm back. He is the funniest player in the league and looks like he might have the talent to back it up. I started following him on twitter (I just got it this week), and already he is cracking me up. Today he posted this picture with the comment "Let the fun begin." I think he is going to play really well this year because of the constant attention he is getting on Hard Knocks and just in general being more in the spotlight than ever. Tonight I am going to try to catch the end of Leadership after I get done with laundry here then it's off to Norwood for the Wyo game, then to the Buehler's for the weekend. Tomorrow I and super siked to be going to my first UC saturday game. It's at 7:30 against South West MO State. Should be a blowout! Also tomorrow night OSU is going to lose another game against a ranked non-conference opponent, if it weren't for that Texas game a few years ago it'd be a really long time since they won one of those. I am just wondering at what point int he game the announcers are going to say "boy, this really reminds me of last year when these teams played..."

This just in...game not blocked out Sunday! I'm out.

Wet, Very Wet

At a power plant things are manufactured to last. It just makes sense to build stuff that is going to hold up over time, especially when not having it working can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars an hour. When things are new everything runs like a dream, like it was designed, and everyone wins. Over time, however, even "industrial strength" components fail. Either from misuse, overuse, or not using it at all equipment breaks down. In a corrosive environment even things made out of the most durable of materials fail; wire insulation gets brittle and cracks off, terminal strips rust away, pipes explode, motors burn up...It's no surprise that these things happen, after all, it's not like people haven't seen it before. The funny thing is that in spite of this awareness everyone is seemingly still caught off guard when things break. With most things, you find out its broken when you need it most, but with other things it's like getting hit by a meteorite while reading your morning paper. Today became just that sort of day when a wire in a "deluge system" shorted out setting off, well, setting off a deluge. Nothing like running up 12 stories of steps in the middle of a "deluge" only to find no signs of a fire (I think that guy's still pissed). Of course you can't turn off the water to go investigate the fire because you might get there and find a fire... Today I got to fix a wire in a dripping coal tower, and all the while I was thinking about how ironic it was that they never thought to replace that wire occasionally considering the abuse it takes. Think 23 years hanging in the open air around hot vibrating equipment, often getting wet and baked in an alternating fashion and never once being replaced. I think I'd snap too.

Afterward (while I was taking our company van to get gas and a car wash) I thought about how my faith is like that. There are aspects of my faith that I set up years ago and think I'll just always have that if I ever need it. So I don't work on it or think about it for a long time until something explodes. Sometimes it's internal, sometimes everyone gets to see, in both cases it involves pain and some dirty cleanup work. Then on top of that there's the temptation to just put a bandaid on it and limp along with things still half broken instead of putting in a little more time and effort now to fix things right. What I think this boils down to for me is consistency, or more accurately inconsistency. Consistantly choosing to work on things, choosing to search things out that might be about to explode and ruin everything. I think this is what David is talking about when he prays "Examine me, O Lord, and try me; test my mind and my heart." It's healthy to get a checkup from the "great physician" even when everything seems fine. For the record, this is not how I roll most of the time. I'm all about waiting for the outward sign of the internal cancer. I think it takes a humility I don't currently have within me to daily go before the Lord in a posture of needy brokeness. More likely I use the Lord like a pez dispencer of grace. I don't do regular maintanence, I just repair the things that are already broken. I to often wait to call on the Lord until I feel like I need Him (I know...I know).

I don't know how this ties in just yet, but I have spent the last week reading and rereading the book of Joel. In it's own agrairian way it's a miniature gospel tucked away at the end of the Old Testament. Here are some exscripts...

1:6-7 "For a nation has invaded my land, mighty and without number; It's teeth are the teeth of a lion, and it has the fangs of a lioness. It has made my vine a waste and my fig tree splinters. It has stripped them bare and cast them away; their branches have become white."

2:11-13 "The Lord utters His voice before His army; Surely His camp is very great, for strong is he who carries out His word. The day of the Lord is indeed great and very awesome, and who can edure it? "Yet even now," declares the Lord, "Return to Me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning; And rend your heart and not your garments." Now retuyrn to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil."

2:25 "Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent amoung you."

2:28 "It will come about after this that I will pour out My spirit on all mankind."

2:32 "And it will come about that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be delivered..."

I started to think of the different kinds of locusts as the different kinds and consequential effects of sin in my life. Ultimately these took away a great deal of my life, and if allowed would come and do it again. The "very awesome" part of the story is that God not only takes away my yoke of slavery to sin and restores me to health, but He also "pays me back for the years lost." I guess what I have been awed by these last few days is the redemptive depth of God's power and grace, and how it fits with my own irregularity, my own inconsistency. I think there are some aspects of God's work in our lives that are easier to point to than others; Several times He lists qualities in scripture that we should grow in over time, but some are more hidden. One I have found recently is that walking with the Lord over time is making me more consistent, more dependable, more reliable. I'm not saying I don't have a long way to go, but these are qualities He has and as we walk with Him, it's Him we become like. When we look at Christ we see ourselves more accurately.

Softball

This past weekend I put together a team last minute to play in the Denny Buehler Memorial Softball Tournament. It's a benefit co-ed tournament played at Spoils Field in Green Hills; this year there were 14 teams. The two great things that happened were one, that we were able to get a team together, and two, that no matter how awful your team is your guaranteed two games. Of course my team lost our first two games making a hasty exit from the bracket, but in spite of being run ruled I think everyone had a really great time playing. It's just a wierd atmosphere were winning isn't so important (this is very easy for losers to say) as showing up and being part of the community. Almost everyone who comes understands pretty quickly that its a lot more about having a good time and raising money for a good cause than it is about winning. I think that's why you see a lot of people sticking around Saterday after they're out and even coming back Sunday. Most of the teams that participate are many time alumni of the tournament, and it seems like everyone knows everyone. I've only been coming around for a few years and I already feel like I know a lot of people. Now that it's a little less daunting I am planning on organizing a team to play every year.

This year for me maybe the best time I had was late Saterday night after all the games for the day where over. Lot's of people are left drinking beer and haning out, and a few of us were going around picking up empty cups and stuff when I looked out on the field and saw Peg and a bunch of kids running around with a tennis ball and a wiffle bat. I realize now that this group of 8-10 kids had just hung out all day and watched their parents play a game they couldn't. Now it was thier turn. So Ed, one of his cousins, and I dropped our stuff and went out and played a little 3 inning game with them. It was awesome because all of them could hit the ball somewhat if you pitched it to them enough times, then Ed, Cousin, Peg and I would just chase them around the bases making errors and letting them score. Eventually we would get the old kids out and then it would be our turn to bat. Our general policy was run until you score or you're out with a couple exceptions. I don't know at what age your priority becomes hitting and not playing the field, but these kids weren't that old yet because I think they had just as much fun chasing us as being chased. In the end everyone was a champion.

For more on the tournament visit here.

Camp

Tomorrow I leave for Young Life Camp for the first time since 2006. Last night I was packing, and I realized that it really had been a few years since I had to get all this stuff together. I don't know if this is actually true, but I feel like as a leader, I should have everything. I mean there are costumes, garbage bags, duct tape, sunscreen, snacks, cards, and extra stuff for people who don't have stuff. I think I am mostly together, but we'll see. I still need to find some swim trunks. I think I have about 10 pairs, but can't find any.

Practically, I want to ask for prayer for the week. Pray for kids; Joe, Eric, Jake, Matt, Dillon, and Antwione, and pray for me; that I stay out of God's way and represent Him as well as I can. Camp is such a great opportunity for people to hear the Truth of Christ and feel the power of His love in their lives apart from the everyday distractions of life at home. About 7 years and a week ago I gave my life to Christ at a Young Life Camp in Michigan, and for me it has made all the difference. We will be sharing a cabin with Princeton, I don't know to much about their group, but pray that everyone gets along well for the week. Thanks for all of your support this week. ~ 1 Cor 15:58...

Hooker

Some of you may already have heard this story, for those of you who have not, it may be my #1 story from all of my time living in Clifton. A week or two ago I went to Joe Decker's Graduation Ceremony. After the ceremony ended I had to run home to change, grab my stuff for my team meeting and softball, and head back up to the Decker's for a reception of sorts before my team meeting. On my way home I got stopped at the traffic light on the corner of Marshall and Central Parkway. It was a nice day so I had my windows down (a fateful decision). While waiting at the light a woman ~ 30ish approached my car wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt.

Woman- "Hey, can you give me a ride up the hill?"

Me- "Sure hop in, just let me move some stuff out of the way." (As I move the stuff out of my front seat.)

Woman- "Can you roll the windows up?" (As the light changes and we start driving up the hill)

Me- "Sure"

Woman- (Very intentionally) "So how do I know you're not a cop?"

*At this point I realized what was happening*

Me- (Very accusing) "How do I know you're not a cop?"

Woman- "How old are you anyways?"

Me- "23"

Woman- "So what's up?"

Me- "Just on my way home from graduation."

Woman- "Congratulations"

Me- "It wasn't my graduation."

Woman- (Almost wiggling/writhing in her seat) "So you want to have some fun or what?"

Me- (Almost laughing) "No!"

Woman- (Very indignant) "Well, Why'd you pick me up then."

Me- (Shocked) "You asked me for a ride, I was giving you a ride!"

Woman- (huffing and puffing and ughing)

Me- "Well, that's as far as I'm going...get out of my car."

After that she got out of my car significantly upset by how things unfolded. Since then I have wondered if I will see her again slinking along the sides of the street somewhere. While looking for her I have realized I am now forever prejudiced against any girl that happens to be walking along that corner wearing anything that looks even remotely skanky. THEY ARE ALL WHORES is what I think to myself.

I have given people a short ride probably 10 times in or around Clifton. Honestly I don't think I've ever turned anyone down. One time I got to give a guy a Bible and invite him to the Vineyard. His name was Obate, he was a refugee from Rwanda seeking asylum in the US. Most of the people I don't have any cool stories about, I don't even remember most of there names. I don't know how this would be interpreted, but doesn't the Bible say a lot about helping the man who asks. I won't just give people money, but I will buy someone a meal, or a gallon of gas, or some groceries, or give them a ride a couple miles. This time I drove a crack whore half a mile, who knows what may happen next time.

I think it is also important to note the ripples this encounter has created in a few other areas in my life. It has highlighted for me a passage; 1 Corinthians 1:18 "For the word of God is foolishness tot hose who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." It's amazing to me how polarized people are when it comes to giving time, money, rides ect. There are a host of people in my life who ask me "why would you ever want to do that" anytime I freely give something of mine away; that's just foolishness... There is another group of people who see it as the power of God working in my life for the benefit of others. In the middle is a group of people who I think experience a sort of internal friction when they see or hear about something like that. I think when outsiders see Christians actually living it out they sometimes feel a sense that they too were created to be part of something bigger.

I asked my Dad this (he thought I was dumb for giving anyone a ride) and it made me think to myself how I should be asking myself the same thing more often. If I claim to be a Christian, shouldn't I have a bunch of stories like this one; encounters with people that are living broken lives?

You Found Me

I've seen some pretty cool things lately. I feel like all I have done is work, but outside of that it really seems like God is after some people surrounding me. I have been doing this Bible study with some HS guys on Wednesday nights. Basically we are reading through John a couple chapters per week. It's primarily Joe and I every week, then some other friends of Joe's sort of come and go. Some of these guys I've known for a long time, some of them I meet when I show up. The crazy thing is I feel like there has been some consistency from not only Joe, but also some of his friends. In general the kids have been reading the material beforehand, which is crazy! I love it for a few reasons which I will make into a list, because I like lists.

1.) All I have to do is read and show up.

2.) It's at chipotle and its just fun to have some built in time just hanging out with guys and eating food every week.

3.) The kids have been reading, and wouldn't you know it the Bible seems to have something to say to them.

4.) My boy Joe is seeing what it's like to invest in his friends and see fruit from it.

5.) Honestly some of the things the guys share are genuinely awesome incites.

So I love this thing, it's like the brightest part of the bright spot for me right now. It seems like a silly thing to say (or a really obvious thing to say), but I don't feel like I have to try so hard at this. My approach is that I know Joe will be there every week, and if it's just him, great we can hang out; but every week some other guys end up coming having read and thought through the stuff a little bit. I don't prepare anything besides taking notes like I would for my quiet times, but to be honest I haven't really been reading anything besides the stuff in John and some Psalms. I just come and see what God is going to do every week, and I love it. I think it was Theresa who said something like "relax in the ministry" to me or our team or something this semester. That has never been my approach though. I always try to do "to much." I always try to be Jesus for people. I know I'm not, but still, I'm an idiot. I think I am starting to look at being used by God differently. It doesn't necessarily mean personally manifesting what I think God should be doing for the people around me, it means something more along the lines of trying to be in a good position so that if God wants to manifest something with His power through my life I am available and aware. It's a complicated idea that I don't really understand yet so good luck with this... Let me try an analogy (this is in part stolen from a certain Mr. Young).

Haggai 2:23 "My servant, declares the LORD, I will make you like a signet ring, for I have chosen you," declares the Lord of hosts."

I think when I am walking with Christ He is changing and arranging things in my life so that I am more like Him. This applies to everything, but some of the big ones I am noticing lately are my heart (the things I want or desire), my ministry, and my personality. So Christ moulds them, like a ring. A signet ring is the ring an emissary or king would use to make an impression upon wax that was poured to seal an envelope. This would signify that the document was from the person to whom the ring belonged. If Christ is making me into a Signet ring, I think it could me that He is moulding me so that when He uses me somewhere, it leaves His mark on the place/person/transformers movie... So here's my analogy; It's not so much my job to do the stamping just to hold the shape He moulds me into as best I can and be available so that when He wants to do some stamping He can. Maybe this is cheap and lame, but I like the imagery and it's my blog.